Some of my Favourite Konglish Fails:

If you're a foreigner living in Korea, chances are you have enjoyed the Asian phenomena known as "Effed Up English". Am I right? I know I have...

As my time in Korea gets shorter and shorter, this blog has turned from a "gotta inform newcomers" kind of thing, to a "gotta make sure I don't forget this" kind of thing. Sorry, I'm being selfish. I'll make it up to you all later... maybe. If I feel like it.

One of my favourite things about Korea is the hilarious tee shirts you randomly find with botched English written all over it. Some are grammatically incorrect, but cute all the same, while some are just plain offensive. The best part of this whole genre is, usually, that the wearer has *no idea* what their tee shirts say. English is just plain sexy- does it even matter?

I have a few shirts myself, that I just couldn't resist buying. One has a picture of an angel and a cat holding hands- very cutesy- on top, and on the bottom it has explicit gangsta rap lyrics. Very explicit. Another has a picture of doughnuts on the front with the words "Who am very delicious" written on it. On the back it says "dognut poisoning".

This phenomena is not just limited to tee shirts, though- oh no. If you've read some of my earliest posts (back when I was sent into giggling fits by any kind of broken English) you'll see restaurant signs, bar signs, even boxes full of "cacktail napkins". It never stops being funny.

My favourite these days, though, is something I've noticed my entire time in Korea, but never blogged about it or even said anything until recently. It's so perfect, so fitting, so obviously true, I can't believe the Korean people have gone through with it. Of course, I'm talking about the names of their gas stations.

There are one or two with regular names- like SK or GS or whatever- but I'm not interested in those. The gas stations I'm talking about are called "EnClean" (unclean) and S-Oil (soil). Who thought of these names? Did someone from Greenpeace infiltrate the Korean gas companies and name them as some lame act of revenge? Like, "the joke's on you guys, your gas stations are dirty", etc. etc.?

I'm just not sure how they could have knowingly given themselves such names. It's hilarious. I chuckle every time I pass a gas station. It's actually one of the first things I noticed when I was driving to Suwon from the airport on my first day in Korea. "Why would they make themselves sound like dirt?", I remember thinking...

Maybe they just aren't in denial about what they're doing to the environment...

That's my weekly rant. Thanks for reading! Here's one of the worst tee shirts found yet. My friend Michelle found this guy at a palace in Seoul and he had no idea what it meant. Could a shirt possibly be more inherently racist? I think not.

If you don't like feminist rants, avoid this post.

There's something that's been burning away in my mind for ages now, and I think if I don't write about it I'll soon explode. There's been a lot of talk lately in the Korean expat blogosphere about the popular Korean TV show "Chatting with the Beauties". In this show, foreign women from all over the world converse in Korean with Korean men. They tend to talk about cultural differences between foreigners and Koreans and what it's like being a foreigner in Korea.

One episode in particular, where the girls were talking about their opinions of the way foreign men in Korea behave, has been blogged about by some male expats in Korea, who have complained about the unfairness of their accusations and the stereotypical views people have of foreign men living in Korea.

Some of the girls made comments referring to how men who aren't especially popular back home come to Korea and, suddenly being surrounded by beautiful Korean women, act like they're cock of the walk. Another few women discussed how tall foreign men, in Korea, were equivalent to gods in the eyes of Korean women.

Perhaps this is due to my feminist inclinations, and perhaps I'm just sad that the foreign expat blogoshpere in Korea in generally male dominated, but, while I don't necessarily feel that the women on this show need backing up, I do have a few things to say on the matter.

1. People have this view of foriegn men for a reason. It doesn't matter if you're the nicest guy in the world, or if you treat your Korean girlfriend like you would any girlfriend in your home country. The fact of the matter is, your predecessors (and a large portion of your peers) are the reason this stereotype exists, no matter how unfair you feel it is. I understand that the media has had a large hand in creating this stereotype. All I can say to this is, welcome to a woman's world. And buck up.

2. I know (not speculating- I know these people and hear them talk) so many guys who date Korean women like it's a sport. Guys think that Western women may simply be "jealous" that men from their own countries go for Korean women, but in general we simply feel bad for them. I have a great boyfriend. He's supportive and smart. I'm not jealous of a Korean woman who, usually unkowingly (either because of cultural differences or because they haven't- and won't- be dating for long), is dating a complete asshole. Again, this DOES NOT AT ALL MEAN that I think all Western men behave this way. I know plenty amazing guys who I've become close with- some of them have great Korean girlfriends or wives, some are single and some are dating other foreigners.

3. I think some men believe that they treat women equally, but just don't realize that they are still stereotyping women and generalizing them in the same way that they are complaining about being generalized themselves. It's very easy to say "I treat my girlfriend with respect" and "I treat my girlfriend much better than a Korean guy would", but even that doesn't change the fact that you're STILL grouping all Korean women (and all Western women, if you're listening to the likes of "Chatting with the Beauties") together.

4. In complete truth, I've experienced every stereotype that these women talked about on TV. They were asked for their opinion, and they gave it. Maybe my own answers wouldn't have been very different. Some of the blog posts I've read have been very hypocritical in the respect that they said very similar things about Western women when critiquing the episode. In truth, it all sounded chauvnistic to me.

5. Get over it, guys. It's no walk in the park being a foriegn woman in Korea, either. When you start getting asked if you're a Russian prostitute every time you get in a cab, or get dragged to a love motel by a Korean man you were chatting with at a club (because, to many Korean men, no really means yes), or you have dealt with rape or being assaulted (as several of my female friends were last year) then maybe I'll take your complaints seriously.

I know this is a touchy subject, but you brought it up first. Let's keep the criticisms tasteful, ok? My Mom reads this blog.

Love, Janine

A Sunny Day During Monsoon Season

And a field trip to boot!

Well... more like a camp for "1st Graders" (10th graders if you're a canuck). A few days ago the head of the language department at school asked me to prepare an hour long presentation for the girls about Canada. The only problem is, I have been teaching these girls for over a week now and they already know everything about Canada (what? they're fast learners). So what do I write about?

Well, ever since I started teaching here I have never been more aware of the differences between Canada and Korea. In a hagwon, you are slowly transitioned into Korean culture and mannerisms- it's almost like you don't even notice you're becoming acclimatized. In my new school, many of the students have never met a foreinger before. They're curious about what is normal in Canada- normal fashion, normal passtimes, normal behaviour... and the more I think about it, the more polar opposite the two countries appear! So strange how these things creep up on you.

Anyway, I made up a *very long* slide show describing the differences between Canada and Korea. Like Canada, Korea is automatically compared to the bigger countries surrounding it (Japan, China) by Westerners. Likewise, Canada is often considered the same as the US by Asians. It's been a great learning experience these past few weeks, let me tell you.

Here are a few of the materials I'm using in my presentation:





Korea's capital city- vibrant, crazy, awesome Seoul.



Laid back, chilled out, and, compared to Seoul, very tiny: Ottawa



Considered by many (but not by me) to be a national hero: Wayne Gretsky



Every girl in Korea looks up to figure skating champion Kim Yu Na. She's in a lot of commercials here. Like, all of them.



Korea's not-so-loveable president: Lee Myung Bak



Canada's not-so-loveable Prime Minister: Stevo Harper



Canada's "funny guy": Jim Carrey



Korea's "funny guy": No Hong Cheol (he's on every TV show known to man)



Canada's favourite (?) food: Poutine! Yum!



Korea's national food: Kimchi, obviously! Yum. Yummmmmmmm.



The Rockies in Canada...



And Bekdusan in Korea (note: although every Korean person considers Bekdusan the most beautiful and famous mountain in Korea, it is actually located in North Korea- therefore, the South Koreans cannot climb it. Although they would very much like to. Oh! Also, this is the famed mountain that the trickster himself, Kim Jong Il, told the people of North Korea he was born on. And there was an iceberg in the lake. And the night he was born, a bolt of lightning struck the iceberg and broke it in two. And that's why he's god. And the poor people of North Korea know better, but they have to agree with him. Gah!)



Ugh- we have Avril...



And Korea has Rain (비). Hey Korea... wanna switch? I love Rain.



Finally! Korea's badass national animal!




...And then there's Canada's beaver. *Cough, cough*

High School is Tough in Korea

It's funny how, after two years, I still find myself in new situations regarding Korean culture. I mean, when you get used to the place, you find yourself adapting to the culture here and you don't really notice that it's a different culture at all(except when baring your soul to another foriegner).

That's why I was surprised when, thinking I finally had it all figured out, I took a job at a Korean public high school. Let me tell you, friends, this is nothing like working at a hagwon. Hagwons are so westernized compared to public schools!

At a public school, you are expected to behave much more formally- especially around your boss and your senior teachers. You cannot refuse certain things, such as a shot of soju after having one shot too many or, in my case, agreeing to model the new school uniforms (how embarassing).

The students, too, have a harder time at school than Western students. Well, I knew that. What I didn't know was the extent to which these teenagers are worked. It's overwhelming! They stay at school until 10 PM- after the vast majority of teachers have gone home- to do something they call "self study". They have large amounts of homework every night and their exams are impossibly difficult (yesterday the senior classes had a provincial English exam, and the readings were so vague even I wasn't sure about some answers). The workload is equal or larger than an average university student's in Canada.

On top of all the work they do, the girl's here have to wear uniforms (they don't like their uniforms- they are always asking me what I think of them), which, really, I don't think is such a terrible thing. What I find strange is that, even though they are already wearing uniforms, they also have to have similar haircuts. This means that with the uniforms and haircuts it has been extremely easy for me to mix up names and faces... again; embarassing.

There are certain teachers at the school whose "extra cirricular" activity is to make sure the girl's are following appearance protocol at all times. They need to verbally abuse the girl's if their hair is an inch longer than it should be. The teacher's don't necessary like doing this, but rules are rules- and high school in Korea is nothing if not a rule oriented environment. If the rules were forsaken, education would be thrown out the window!

I shy away from the questions the girls have about high school students in Canada. It's too painful for them to hear about the freedom and "rights" that students enjoy (a little too liberally, if you ask me) in Canada. Instead, I tell them about the drugs many students ruin their lives with and the many students who have no dreams or ambitions in Canadian public schools. That makes the girls feel much better, because despite all the rules, regulations and the heavy workload they must endure during high school, every one of these girls has a dream. Every one of them is ambitious, and every girl in my school will go to university.

I was recently going over some application forms for a special writing class I will teach during summer vacation (indeed, the students don't even get vacation- they still come to school every day). Many girls applied for this class, and as a written submission they all wrote about their hopes and dreams for their future. I'll tell you this: not one girl wrote about hoping to be a houswife someday. There were several girls who wanted to be diplomats, there were several who wanted to be school teachers or university professors, there were several who wanted to be bureaucrats- I'm talking ambition here! Some of their applications brought tears to my eyes, and they are still so eager to learn more!

That's Korea for you. No one in this country can rest until they feel they have done their utmost in any given area. Hair dressers will spend hours on your hair until they have done it right. People working at McDonald's make the neatest burgers I have seen anywhere in the world. And my students work their butts off to acheive their goals.

I think they've got a heads up on Canada with this one. Let's all be a little more strict than necessary with our kids (but maybe leave their hair alone).

Reasons Why I Like Koreans:

Maybe this mostly applies to my new coworkers. Anyone wondering about the different between working for a public school or a private school? A public school is less work, more vacation and... this is a big one... you are the ONLY FOREIGNER working there! This may sound like a bad thing to some, but believe me, it has been nothing short of paradise- no clashing personalities, no stupid complaining about "how much work I have to do allllll the time" (you came here to work, dummy) and the Korean teachers at my new school have been nothing short of wonderful since I first arrived! I just love them.

So maybe that's what inspired me to write this post. I've been feeling the love of the Korean community for the past few weeks and it's got me thinking about exactly what I'm going to miss when I'm back in Canada- because when you're here, you take everything for granted. The grass is always greener, yadda yadda yadda.

Here are the top ten things I like most about the Korean people:

1. They tell you when you're looking good, and they're honest about how you can make yourself look better. This may sound shallow, but to Koreans, you have to talk the talk before you walk the walk. That means my Korean friends will truthfully answer questions like "Is this zit noticable?" or "Should I get contact lenses?" or "Are my legs too fat to get away with this skirt?"

I know, I know, that sounds really shallow. But these are things you're always wondering anyway, and Canadians are too damn polite, even with their closest friends, to tell the complete truth. With Koreans, no guesswork is necessary. You know when you're looking good, and you know when it's time to get magic straight one more time.

2. If older Korean women like you, they are not content until they're sure you are absolutely and completely full of food. They will tsk tsk at your breakfast of yoghurt and granola, they will fill your desk drawers with candy that you will never eat, they will fuss over you like you're their white daughter (and often will call you by that name... maybe not white, but definitely daughter...). And you know what? It's nice to be fussed over when you live in a country extremely far from the ones who would normally fuss over you. With no mommies or aunties around, a caring adjuma is a most welcome part of your life.

3. If older Korean men like you, they will also call you their daughter, but instead of food they will try to make you drink soju until you pass out. Like my vice principal. "Janine teacher, you are so very beautiful. Drink some soju.", and so on. Which leads me to my next point:

4. They tell you you're beautiful at every possible chance they get. They announce your beauty at teacher's meetings, your students want their picture taken with you (as do their mom's), they say "Oh, teacher. Your face is so small and your hair is golden." Seriously, my self esteem has never looked so good.

5. Your high school students have, more often than not, never met a foreigner before. When you walk into the classroom, they applaud you. They cheer. They give you dance recitals in class and say, "Teacher, I have a very important question. Who is the most beautiful girl in the class?" As if I would ever answer that! But these are just some of the common questions that Koreans ask every day. Do you have a boyfriend? Is he Korean? Do you think our uniforms are ugly? Who has the smallest face?

6. Koreans know how to eat. Like kings. And they do it at every possible chance, with as many people as possible. My visa was taking forever, but no worries: first we eat a magnificent lunch and THEN we get the visa. Clearly, I need to get my priorities straight. At staff parties, the soju flows freely, as does the meakju (beer), plum wine and makoli (carbonated rice wine). The food is unending. A feast to end all feasts. I love the way Koreans eat, whether as a family or just with their friends.

7. Koreans love all things luxurious. They shop at big department stores, drive nice cars and enjoy eating steak. They laugh at my frugality. And, more often than not, they are amazingly generous and make sure I want for nothing. Can't afford to go out this weekend? I'll buy the pitchers. And don't worry about taxi fare because I have a fancy car.

8. Koreans turn every sporting event into a high school musical. I hate sports, but I love the dance moves, different songs and cheers and, most of all, the colour coordination. This means I can enjoy baseball and soccer on a new level. Thanks, Korea.

9. I really love that my students are respectful and are hard workers. They don't even know about drugs, they don't drink til they're twenty and they know that if they don't get good grades they will fail at life (at least, that's what Korean adults tell them). My school is an all girls school and I love to see them taking on leadership roles and engaging in school politics. At the end of the day they clean my coffee cup for God sakes! They are go getters and they're going to be super successful. And they think I'm interesting. Aw.

10. When I was travelling through SE Asia, I kept thinking about the manners and ethics the Korean people hold dear. Theft is a nonissue, violent crime is rare, and people don't ever rip you off because you're a foreigner. I've lost my phone several times, my camera twice and my wallet once. On every occasion, someone has gone to great lengths to return my things to me.


These are just a FEW of the things I love about Koreans. Don't ever listen to disgruntled foreigners who say Koreans are bad people. Every country has bad people, but not every country has the amount of honest, hardworking people that Korea has.

Korean Folk Village... I didn't hate it this time.

If you recall my last Korean Folk Village experience, you will remember that I wasn't too fond of it. It just didn't seem authentic enough. It was Chusok; people were everywhere. Cows were being tortured. I cried when I saw the dogs in the cages. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Patrick has been in Korea for almost a year now, and he had been planning on visiting the Folk Village (or "Fork" Village if you read the Konglish signs) for quite some time. We decided that we would go a few weekends ago since we didn't really have anything else planned and it was a beautiful October Saturday.

This time around, the Village was completely different. It wasn't crowded with Koreans; there were no sad looking animals tied up or in cages, and we were able to walk around in relative peace and quiet. It was beautiful and it made me wish Koreans didn't live in high rises these days. Here are just a few of the many pictures we took that day:



Same as last year, these dancers put on a good performance. I still marvel at their twirling abilities.

This guy has a pretty sweet job. He doesn't have to talk to you if he doesn't want to. He just takes his sweet time weaving baskets. I wish I could weave baskets all day long. That wouldn't get boring at all.

The houses were really cool. I really wish I lived in one. It sounds cheesy, but the whole time I was thinking about how different my experience in Korea would have been if I had come 50 years ago.

This woman was using a Korean style spinning wheel. It took me a minute to figure out what she was doing- it looks nothing like the spinning wheels used in the west!

Of course, I had to show of my mad swinging skills. Just look at me go. Pat wasn't as successful.

There were veggies out drying in the sun all over the place. They weren't all your typical drying veggies, either, they were like... pumpkins and stuff. Yeah.

Koreans used these totem-esque poles to drive away evil spirits from their villages.

And here I am, totally in my element. I want to make kimchi and dry chilies. Why must I teach?

Oh... hello, kitteh. How did you get in here? You have to admit, Ha Jin is pretty photogenic.

Happy Chuseok!

This has been my second Chuseok in Korea and, as always, we go all out at Maple Bear! My kids got all dressed up in their hanboks, we played traditional Korean games and we talked about what families in Korea do for Chuseok. The top three ways to celebrate?

1. Play games. Preferably computer or nintendo, but if these are not available then the more traditional Korean Chuseok games- Unori, for example, where you throw sticks up in the air try to be the first to make it around the game board (that's the jist, I think).

2. Go to your Grandmother's house. This is totally accurate. The Friday before Chuseok you can pretty much count on bumper-to-bumper traffic from one end of the country to the other. There is a mass exodus of the entire city of Seoul as the 30 million inhabitants go back to the countryside where many of them are from to spend time eating and socializing with their entire family. My married Korean girlfriends tend to not look forward to this as much as their husbands. Why? "Because I have to cook all day long," my teaching partner, Jessica says.

3. Make songpyeon! This is a favourite for parents and children alike. If you, for some reason, have been reading my blog for awhile, maybe you remember my songpyeon experience last year, where I made the chewy Chuseok treat with my kinders. It was great! You start with warm rice dough (precooked), make a bite sized ball of dough, flatten it out a bit, and fill it with all sorts of stuff. Most popular fillings? Bean paste (sweet beans), honey, sesame seeds, raisins and nuts. We are, after all, celebrating the harvest season.

Here are some pics of my second Chuseok experience at Maple Bear:


Pretty Sally in her pretty hanbok.

Miss Jessica, explaining the concept of "Unori" to the kids.

Me and the hanbok'd maidens.

Jessica and the hanbok'd fellas.

Afternoon kindergarten- Sally, Rachel and Seri.

If you read this blog you will know about my "favourite picking" policy as a teacher. As long as the other kids never find out, no problem right? Right Eric?

The maybe not-so-traditional game of "get the ring around the pylon".

We made Korean style hackey sacks. They were the best part of our Chuseok celebration.

Toby in his hanbok. He likes to cuddle.

Bright Kim showing off his Chuseok baby picture to his friends. He was quite a fat little baby.

So how did I spend my holidays...? Nothing major, just visited the super cool, semi tropical, volcanic island of Jeju off the south coast. More on that later. Happy Chuseok!

Back to the Grind...

Hello Blogosphere!

It's been awhile since I last posted. Let's just say the last two months of my life have been a whirlwind; what with the finishing of my contract and then signing another one, thinking I will have to move and then ending up staying in the same place, bosses and misunderstandings, and, most importantly, my trip back to the homeland (more to come on that). I think it's mostly been a good whirlwind and I'm so happy to be back in the ROK for six more months of fun and games and teaching my little nosepickers.

I think I left off at one of the best weekends of my life, so let's just pick up from there, shall we?

Mudfest is a huge thing in Korea. In fact, I don't think any foreigner is able to enter and spend any amount of time in the country without someone mentioning Mudfest and explaining how kickass it is; therefore, I had known about the festival pretty much since I arrived a year ago and had been looking forward to it all year. Just think about it:

mud+beer+beach+beer+friends+fireworks+beer+hilariously catchy music+mud-related games+beer.

Is there any better combination? Probably. But this festival is definitely up there.

We set out early Saturday morning on the 12th of July- some still awake from spending the night in Now Bar (not me, Mom) and clammered onto the 6 o'clock train bound for the city of Boryeong; home to Daechon beach and Mudfest (the latter being found there only two weeks of the year). This is what we found when we arrived approximately 2.5 hours later:

Kenny G.- a favourite of mine and Grace's.

Mud and bikinis.

Totally wicked body painting booths, as well as several mud baths, slides, and wrestling venues. The mud is supposed to be really good for your skin, by the way, and they cart it over from the delta a few miles away from the beach.

Beach umbrellas being rented out! Thank God. Sunburn won this weekend, my friends. It got us all. We didn't even care about being extorted by the locals (30 bucks for an umbrella, really...).

We found around the clock live and recorded music blaring from the stage. During most of the day the theme music from Everland played, driving several crazy by the end of the weekend. At other times, some terrible Noraebang was happening and at others, actual bands played for the thousands of onlookers.

Amanda and Rachael found the mud prison for several minutes.

In all actuality, the fireworks were the best I have ever seen. They were really amazing. Someone set them up from a barge off the coast and they played really intense music while they were set off. Magic.

We eventually found our massive hotel room, which accomocated 30 of my closest friends and myself. It was interesting.

There was a lot of table dancing going on that night. And check out those sunburns!

As well as the ever present singalong at the end of the night. Priceless.

Younggung-sa Temple in Busan